OMG, Now I Have To Go Hug My Pets And/Or Start Drinking

July 18, 2008

“Baby Panda Adopted And Nursed By Cat Dies” [AP]

AP

(AP Photo/ Artis Zoo)


Oy. But Hey! Olympic Hotties!

July 18, 2008


Headlines That Make You Go…Seriously?

July 18, 2008


The Day NYPress Editor David Blum Was Almost Buzzier Than Star Mag

July 18, 2008

The Day NYPress Editor David Blum Was Almost Buzzier Than Star Mag


The Most Horrifying Part Of This Jessica Roy Thing?

July 18, 2008

“A guy I am friendly with who used to work for Gawker, Jon, came up behind me, ‘Do you want to meet Emily Gould?’”   [NYMag]

Dear God.

Also? I will need a utility bill from Bumblefuck, NH, with Jessica Roy’s name and address on it to prove that the disillusioned-before-her-time writerish person has indeed left New York City. Like she’s going anywhere now. Pshht.


I Love CNN Features, Really, I Do.

July 16, 2008

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Beeline it to your nearest morally-compromised physician’s office and go into a laundry list of your kindergartner’s rambunctious tendencies. Accept practically automatic prescription for stimulant medication. Fill. Consume daily. Rinse. Repeat.


Rock Band Does Drugs! Presses To Stop Please.

July 16, 2008

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I so totally never saw coke coming as the BNLer drug of choice. Although God knows why, after the beats per minute rate of “One Week.” Oh, and every other BNL song.


Silly Things To Say On The Record To A Journalist

July 16, 2008

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“My primary role is to be the public face of the magazine.“

-Former Daily News gossiptrix Ben Widdicombe to NYPost media reporter Keith Kelly on his new gig at Star magazine.

This is a sentence that, in my experience, has never ever once been uttered without making the issuer look like a jackass. JFK Jr. could have slid by. Maybe.


So Much For Those Heretofore Unseen Magical Mormon Undergarments

July 2, 2008

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This, ladies and gents, is what those at cultastic religious compounds just shy of their wedding dates (read: 12-year-olds) sport under those oh-so-cute-Laura-Ingalls getups. And now you too can get your very own sacred temple garment at fldsdress.com! Members of the FLDS, the polygamous Mormon offshoot group run over by the State of Texas in April for maybe having sex with a few too many teens, have started their own online store. E-commerce is for everyone! Never mind that what looks like an oversized onesie above is typically considered sacred by adherents, who “may be offended by public discussion of the garments,” according to, well, common knowledge and Wikipedia. One guy who tried selling his sacred underoos on eBay a few years ago had his listings yanked by the Internet giant after complaints from the Church of Latter Day Saints. Don’t worry, they replaced his listings once they discovered that selling union suits online isn’t illegal in any state, divine or not.


Sooo…Basically, Dude Will No Longer Be Forced To Beg The Help For His Rx Supply

July 2, 2008

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