Maggie Shnayerson

Is this. And yes, my mom is more lovable than Alex Balk, what do you want from me?

You may be lucky enough to have avoided the suburbs for the duration of your life. Hey, me too! Until I up and voluntarily moved here last year, that is. Don’t ask. The ‘burbs do have their benefits, though. Like, for instance, the Westchester edition of the Sunday New York Times personals! Also our fantastically freakish neighbors, but never mind. For your browsing pleasure—a “busy MD/writter” (not that busy, is my suspicion), a “typical” Upper West Side retired editor (Dad? Not cool) and easily one of the best squirmy non sequiturs I’ve seen in quite some time.