Impossible. Helen Thomas Is Indestructible, People.

Helen Thomas

“Washington, D.C. legend Helen Thomas has been off the job for the past three weeks suffering from a gastric infection that has caused her to miss her weekly column for Hearst Newspapers, according to Hearst D.C. Bureau Chief Chuck Lewis.” [E&P]

Oooh! An octogenarian “gastric infection!” Just in time for the lunch hour! You can thank me later. (Um. Ew, gross, Helen Thomas’ rattley insides, ew, ew, retch.)


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