Maggie Shnayerson

On your left, Republican vice presidential pick Sarah Palin. On your right, the hot teacher-stripper from the MTV football flick Varsity Blues.

"Choire Sicha Joins Radar: Last Media Job In New York City Gladly Taken"

...Very good indeed. I mean, thank God. About time, for chrissakes.

In other news, since Choire is otherwise occupied (presumably looking for a white suit and spats to go with his fancy new title), I'll be guest-blogging at Radar this week. I can neither confirm nor deny that Doree Shafrir, Emily Gould and Joshua David Stein will also be joining me. Disgusting, it all is, isn't it?

1. Shit Still Falling From Sky: No longer content to shed construction willy-nilly from its own office building, the New York Times recruited a neighboring skyscraper in its cunning plan to terrorize people in and around Times Square.
2. Shit Now Also Falling From El Trains: "A freak accident in Queens has left a woman in critical condition after a tree branch fell and struck her in the head."
3. Not Falling From Heaven? Cash. "The number of New Yorkers who declared bankruptcy was up 31% over the first seven months of 2008, according to a new report." [NYDN]
4. Deadly Mosquitos. Let the West Nile virus games begin! So long as they stay in the Bronx and Queens, clearly. [WNBC]
5. Assaulting Taxicabs. Sunday's taxi (two) vs. pedestrian (six) accident will teach you not to hail so hard next time. (Honestly though, does a week go by where there isn't a taxi vs. pedestrian accident in New York? If only Cash Cab's Ben Bailey would run me over. Swoon.)
6. Torah-Stealing Positively Rampant. A synagogue in Queens was robbed of seven torahs over the weekend. Sounds like a lame pile of plunder, until you find out they're worth over half a million bucks. [WNBC]
7. Purple Pigeon Painters Among Us. Someone found a poor pigeon covered in purple paint in Queens on Friday.  Now, normally, I am of the "pigeons are flying rats kill them all" school, but that's just not very nice.

You should watch this, all the way to the end. You can do it.  And not just because it's a 14-minute video that nonetheless was the #2 featured clip on YouTube today, or because my talented friend Jesse Ruben sings in it. There's a quadriplegic discussing the details of his sex life!  Always awesome!  Oh, and there are some fairly stirring and profound moments that might just make you rethink your Monday, if not your year. [ZackWeinstein.org]