Archive for April, 2009

There’s really nothing like going to your tenth high school reunion to make you feel like Wooderson.

Posted in Aging With Irritation on April 25th, 2009 by Maggie – Be the first to comment



Oh The Spoiled Humanity

Posted in Private Schools on April 20th, 2009 by Maggie – Be the first to comment

Issue forth all the clever heavy-handed points you please, fellas: Until you've been trapped in the middle of a Vomit Epidemic at a remote boarding school, the location of which was chosen to inspire community, Thoreauvian adolescent epiphanies and the assurance that anyone using a ten-speed (fastest transport available) to make a break for it would have little luck, then YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY RELATE. THE AGONY. THE FEAR. And the HELPLESSNESS.*

But he just wanted to borrow her sweater! For a minute! Jeez! Re: inothernews

Posted in photo on April 11th, 2009 by Maggie – Be the first to comment



But he just wanted to borrow her sweater! For a minute! Jeez!

Re: inothernews

Today In Ludicrous Headlines

Posted in Dear CNN, photo on April 11th, 2009 by Maggie – Be the first to comment



CNN has ACTUALLY entitled the next hour of programming thusly: "Our special investigation: 'Somali Pirates: Can They Be Stopped?'"

Good goddamn GRIEF. I formally declare the line between local news shops and major media outfits to be null, void, squished, etc.

What's that? I'm seven or so years late to this revelation? Oh.

I am two months older than 27-year-old Ben Ferguson, who spent the last five minutes gabbing about piracy live on CNN, an international news network. I am schadenfreudically thankful that he sounded precisely his age (with apologies to myself et al, for stereotyping 27-year-olds.) Also, for the small grace of Ferguson’s outfit. The poor dear looked almost exactly like a Buckley boy on the first day of fifth grade, whose mother, alas, had forgotten to take his uniform to the tailors to be let out. The above is not a clip of today, but a clip of another day in which Ben Ferguson appeared on CNN, an international news network. They doggie-bagged his actual ass as a parting gift, I suspect. And now I return to my world, where I, alas, am the youngest nationally-syndicated radio host of only this house. Part of it. Fine, the lesser part. Fuck off.

Posted in video on April 11th, 2009 by Maggie – Be the first to comment

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