Maggie Shnayerson

First benefit of being an unemployed blournalist that I’ve come across in the 26 months I’ve been such? I’m not one of the eight IT guys in this train car on conference calls, not ONE of whom seems to know a synonym for “functionality.”

Then again, I have to listen to them. For free. So maybe not so much a benefit as an opportunity to perform justifiable homicide?

I would pay $50,000 for a cell phone jammer. Twice that for a good ice pick.