Maggie Shnayerson

Indiana State Police SpokesFolks Will Not Lie To You, No Matter How Much You Beg

“(CNN)—The search for two of three inmates who escaped from an Indiana prison has been called off, authorities said Tuesday. One of the inmates…was captured Monday. The other two—a convicted murderer and a convicted rapist—remain at large after Sunday’s escape from the Indiana State Prison in Michigan City, Indiana.”

How come, you ask?

‘We don’t know where to look,’ [Indiana Department of Correction spokesman John Schrader told CNN Tuesday.]

Oh. Huh.

Well, can you at least tell us how these dudes managed to pull a Shawshank through the prison’s underground tunnel system? (Sidenote: Must prisons always have these? Really?)

‘At this stage, we don’t know exactly how that happened,’ said Douglas Garrison, the chief of communications for the IDC.’”

Yay!

Number 461 in ‘Phrases That Should Never Ever Leave The PR Crisis Management Sit Room’?

“We don’t know exactly how,” followed by anything else. Preceded by anything else either, come to think of it. NO WHERES AT ALL should this appear. Please and thank you.

You People Need A Publicist

Because how come I had NO IDEA about this. NONE!

doree:

Jess and I were on the Brian Lehrer Show this morning. Oh, you missed it? You can listen to us anyway! (Bonus: my mom calls in. No, really.)

Your Magazine Career? In The Clearance Bin At Barnes & Noble

Posted in Jobs, Media   Tagged: Jobs, magazines, Media, stuff that’s depressing, unemployment   

Did You Hear The One About The White Teacher Who Bound Two Of Her Black 7th-Grade Students And Made Them Crawl Under Desks To Demonstrate What Slavery Must Have Been Like?
“During a Nov. 18 seventh-grade history lesson on slavery, the teacher, Eileen Bernstein, who is white, selected two black students—one of whom was 13-year-old Gabrielle —taped their hands and feet,…

Miles O'Brien To Leave CNN. Network Shutters Science, Space and Tech Unit.

Miles O’Brien? I realize I’m way late to this one, but Miles O’Brien? They kick him to the curb, yet frigging Rick Sanchez (who Twitters here! No seriously!) CNN keeps?

I may need a nap.