Maggie Shnayerson

Well. This is one of the most extremely excellent things I’ve read of late. Worth the click-through for Jacobson’s entire column. Thanks, Balk.

alexbalk:

I measure a man’s seriousness by the degree of moral ambivalence he is able to intimate in his appearance. Here is surface, the subtle politician and thinker says, here is my homage to gorgeousness, worldliness and good manners, but don’t suppose I do not have that within that passeth show.

Too much attention to exterior show and the man is trivial; too little and he is a fanatic. The person who cannot smile urbanely even when the world is falling apart is no better than the person who can do nothing else. And those who think they prove their integrity by looking shabby by the standards of their own society, or by adopting the dress of the oppressed (as though the oppressed are a model by virtue of their oppression), only demonstrate the narrowness of their sympathies.

“The former editor of Harpers magazine interviews historians and scholars about contemporary world views in historical context.” [iTunes Podcasts]

First of all, what?

Second of all, no. No, no, no and NO. Seriously, just—no.

That’s the bravest labrador retriever I have ever seen in my life.

Hey there, New York Sun newsstand distributors! Thanks for accepting our well-made freebie POS incentives by the boatload for seven years and then displaying our paper underneath The Chief.  Oh, and seriously—pretty awesome of you guys to keep them in frequent rotation even after our long drawn-out death. Bitter what?

“Today’s commercial fishers use massive ships the size of football fields and advanced electronic equipment and satellite communications to track fish. These enormous vessels can stay out at sea for as long as six months, storing thousands of tons of fish onboard in massive freezer compartments. Commercial fishing has become a big business…commercial fishers kill hundreds of billions of animals every year—far more than any other industry.”

Oh, PETA. Excellent cause. And so well-argued. Fishing is such a “big business” in the United States these days that the average fisherman brings home $28,280 a year and works in the occupation with the highest rate—by far—of fatalities on the job in the entire country. Commercial fishing is so gargantuan, in fact, that in 2007, it contributed just $34.2 billion to the United States GNP, which I think doesn’t even warrant it a single percentage point.

But hey, cute fishie graphic. I myself like my sea kittens grilled and marinated with rosemary and basil-infused olive oil. Preferably fresh out of Nantucket Sound. Oh wait! There’s only one commercial dragger left there. Damn.

Meet Radiance and Rosebud and their parents, Renaissance and Renegade.

Malia and Sasha Obama’s Secret Service code names were released today, and honestly, you know Amy “Dynamo” Carter and Chelsea “Energy” Clinton are totes jealous. What are we, harkening back to the days of Camelot, when Caroline and John Jr. were the rhapsodically christened “Lyric” and “Lark”?

Actually, the Obama girls snagged themselves some recycled Republican monikers: Maureen “Rosebud” Reagan, the president’s daughter, and his daugher-in-law Doria “Radiant” Reagan tried them on for size back in the 80s. At least the Secret Service did better by their parents, “Renaissance” Michelle and “Renegade” Barack, whose idiot predecessor was baptized—SIGH—”Tumbler.”

tum·bler: \ˈtəm-blər\

• A type of toy that can tumble over and then straighten up by itself
• A rum glass
• A movable obstruction in a lock
• A domestic pigeon that characteristically tumbles or somersaults in flight
• The pupal stage of a mosquito
• A fictional human supervillain and enemy of Captain America

Surely…surely I can’t be the only one who thinks this a…a bit much.