Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

Barack, Dude. People Don’t TALK in Standard Harvard Outline Format, Yo. For Reals.

January 7, 2010 by Maggie No Comments »

GOD ALMIGHTY, how I wish President Obama would quit issuing these hyper-precise, MLA-outlined exposition-enhanced speeches. I’m developing an allergy to persuasive rhetorical communication techniques, and that’s AGAINST MY CHARACTER.

I shall now prepare for the eventual day where I will have to admit missing George Bush saying silly and ridiculous things about being The Decider.

 

Damn, It’s Hard To Remain Objective About This Guy. Also—Barack Obama Says ‘Fuck’ Too!

November 6, 2008 by Maggie No Comments »

Obama 2008

“The debates unnerved both candidates. When he was preparing for them during the Democratic primaries, Obama was recorded saying, ‘I don’t consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, ‘You know, this is a stupid question, but let me … answer it.’ So when Brian Williams is asking me about what’s a personal thing that you’ve done [that's green], and I say, you know, ‘Well, I planted a bunch of trees.’ And he says, ‘I’m talking about personal.’ What I’m thinking in my head is, ‘Well, the truth is, Brian, we can’t solve global warming because I f—ing changed light bulbs in my house. It’s because of something collective’.‘” [Newsweek] (Itals all mine.)

 

Rhyme & Rhetoric, Taught This Fall By Professor Barack Obama

November 5, 2008 by Maggie No Comments »

panoramawinner5

“There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can’t solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree.”

These lines (plus the rest of Barack Obama’s deeply presidential and ethos, pathos and rhythm-ridden victory speech) fairly well sum up why and where his campaign succeeded and John McCain’s didn’t.

 

Wasilla, Alaska. City Hall. For Reals.

September 7, 2008 by Maggie 6 Comments »

wasilla city hall.jpg

Hmmm…well it sort of looks like the White House. Okay, okay, the Off-White House.

 

Well, This Can’t Be Good…

August 29, 2008 by Maggie 1 Comment »

McCain VP Pick Sarah Palin"Varsity Blues" Teacher-Stripper Miss Davis
On your left, Republican vice presidential pick Sarah Palin. On your right, the hot teacher-stripper from the MTV football flick Varsity Blues.

 

“There You Are! God, I Can’t Let You Out Of My Sight For Two Seconds.”

August 28, 2008 by Maggie No Comments »

Schumer Claw

 

This Son-Of-A-Something, That’s For Sure

August 8, 2008 by Maggie No Comments »

“Edwards made a point of telling Woodruff that his wife’s cancer was in remission when he began the affair with Hunter. Elizabeth Edwards has since been diagnosed with an incurable form of the disease.” [ABC News]

Why yes, of course, Senator John Edwards! You’re perfectly right! In fact, we really ought to be acknowledging the forethought and kindness with which you scheduled your affair with this sketchtastic, kind of skanky-looking lady, whom you then allegedly passed along to your former campaign finance director, Andrew Young, who then—just in time!—apparently impregnated her.

It’s a good thing you waited till after Elizabeth Edwards’ cancer was in remission to start fucking around. Jesus, otherwise, we all might really have thought you were a lowdown, hypocritical, narcissistic lying pietist, which couldn’t possibly be true, given concessionary remarks such as these:

“We, as citizens and as a government, have a moral responsibility to each other, and what we do together matters. We must do better, if we want to live up to the great promise of this country that we all love so much…I want to thank everyone who has worked so hard—all those who have volunteered, my dedicated campaign staff who have worked absolutely tirelessly in this campaign.”

Yeah, hey, especially that Andy Young over there. Dedicated volunteer indeed. Let’s hope for his sake (and it looks likely) that his volunteerism is the mercenary kind.

 
Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes