Maggie Shnayerson

"During a Nov. 18 seventh-grade history lesson on slavery, the teacher, Eileen Bernstein, who is white, selected two black students—one of whom was 13-year-old Gabrielle —taped their hands and feet, and had them crawl into the space under a desk to simulate what it must have been like for slaves transported in ships' holds during the voyage to America.

In retrospect, the teacher 'realizes that that was not a good choice and we've rectified the situation in terms of not using that simulation again,' [principal Avis Shelby] added." [The Journal-News]

Thank God the school has taken measures to ensure that teachers don't USE THAT SIMULATION AGAIN. For chrissakes.

You may be lucky enough to have avoided the suburbs for the duration of your life. Hey, me too! Until I up and voluntarily moved here last year, that is. Don't ask. The 'burbs do have their benefits, though. Like, for instance, the Westchester edition of the Sunday New York Times personals! Also our fantastically freakish neighbors, but never mind. For your browsing pleasure—a "busy MD/writter" (not that busy, is my suspicion), a "typical" Upper West Side retired editor (Dad? Not cool) and easily one of the best squirmy non sequiturs I've seen in quite some time.